Fascination Street – or how transport can remind you that these boots were indeed made for walkin'

Being South Asia, which is very close to South East Asia, which is renowned for what could be considered questionable respect for traffic rules, it comes as no surprise that getting around provides opportunities on a daily basis for the religious to say their prayers.

And because I’m the sharing kind (especially if it’s from your plate) I’ve provided some visual aids to help convey at least in part what it’s like to get around town in ‘the dish’.

1. The Rickshaw

Yep, it’s the traditional variety where a man who weighs significantly less than me (and you too, before you judge, unless by some freak occurrence Amy Winehouse is reading this blog) pedals madly on a bike with no gears while simultaneously hauling your arse all over the place for about, oh, 20 cents a ride.

Now because nothing is as simple at it seems here, this does not mean you, as the well-cushioned passenger get to just sit back and enjoy the ride – oh no. While you sit back and watch the absurdly tight buns of the rickshaw wallah working away madly in front of you, you also get to have a mini-pilates class as you engage your core with all your strength so you don’t topple out onto the bitumen/rubble/rubbish heap/dirt. Rickshaws come with the brilliant feature of being just a little off balance, and tilt forward slightly. Admittedly this makes it much easier to get out at the end, but also makes it exceptionally easy to alight from the vehicle while it is very much in motion.

For the record, being a rickshaw wallah is pretty high on the list of Positions I Never Want To Apply For. Not even being able to decorate my very own rickshaw with spectacularly coloured rickshaw art would tempt me.

2. The CNG or Baby Taxi

First things first, CNG stands for Compressed Natural Gas, which is what these little babies are powered by. Quite an exceptional effort by a third world country to combat air pollution has been made here, and this should be noted. Now, a more appropriate acronym would be PDT or ‘Potential Death Trap’, as the natural gas bottle sits in the back of the baby taxi, ready to explode upon impact. Handy!

A few things to note about CNGs. There are no doors. The driver rides in a cage. There are no seatbelts. They make Smart Cars look like Hummers. All CNG drivers are secretly hoping to become part of the next Star Wars sequel and practice their best ‘I can dodge em better than you can’ techinques with every trip. Oh, and in Dhaka they’re probably working for a local gang too, just to spice things up.

Here is a view from the back of a CNG, note the cage around the driver, and the following pic is a view out the side of a CNG. Note the buses next to me. And panel beaters, you can stop licking your lips, you’re not Bangladeshi if you repair your dings.

above: the view from the back - yes, you can see an arm hanging on for dear life

below: out the side - CNGs are so small

my eye line is almost on par with a public bus wheel.

3. Public bus

I don't always think pictures speak louder than words (if that were the case I'd be out of a job since I'm not about to challenge Annie Liebowitz for the next Rolling Stone cover shot) I do think, in this case, they help. What they don't show, however, is how you actually catch one...

Pick which bus you need, adopt a running stance, start moving to match your pace to that of the (hopefully) slowing bus, close your eyes (optional) and jump on!

Now don't worry, this is perfectly safe as there is usually a man hanging onto the outside of the bus to help haul you in. Usually.

4. Private car

Take a look – what does it remind you of? I’m trying to decide between bumper bowling and dodgem cars, though I think I’m erring a little closer to dodgem cars if I take into account the rickshaw and CNG rides I’ve had so far where the most popular game in school seems to be ‘How Many Other Things Can I Hit Before I Tip Over’. I now think it's actually a handy thing my dirver's license was stolen in my first week or who knows what crazy ideas I would have had about hiring a car with my very own metal bumper bars attached!

5. The Best Kind

And last but not least, my preferred means of getting around town. A little too traditional perhaps, and not overly safe when all of the above are thrown in, but it does come with it's own special smellofactor that helps you feel such an intimate part of the city. Especially in the morning... (I'll leave you to ponder that one over yourselves...).